I Just Wanted Some Fresh Air.

In my almost two years of living in this tiny little University town, I have met some extremely interesting people. And by interesting, I mean completely and utterly weird. If you've ever spent more than 36 seconds in this little part of the world, you'll know exactly what I'm going on about.

In this town it is completely normal to walk around barefoot, with an empty box of Lion Matches attached to your earlobe (with the help of an old paper clip), whilst whipping your dreadlocks back and forth. Your only concern in life would be whether the coat hanger that you've attached to your Spider Man back pack is getting caught on other people or not as you walk by them.

This University, and so evidently this town, is one delicious melting pot of students who are just trying to obtain an idea of who it is that they want to be in this world. It is nothing short of completely delightful and as you can imagine, not only have I met some incredible people, but I've also had some rather interesting conversations.

What follows is a conversation that took place between a very short, very energetic and very, very Afrikaans guy and myself on Tuesday night. Wednesday was a public holiday as well as my best friend's birthday and so a few friends and I decided to head out on the Tuesday to Grahamstown's most infamous club; Friar Tuck. It seemed that the entirety of campus had the same idea as we did, because Friars was absolutely packed. It was uncomfortably hot and so I decided to step outside for a few minutes for some fresh air. It was at this moment that the following happened...

Him: Hello, hello. Are you waiting outside?

Me: Sorry? Um, yes. It's just really hot in there.

Him: The bouncer won't let me in because I'm smoking my cigarette.

Me: Well best you finish it then if you're wanting to go inside.

Him: What time are you going back to Heaven?

Me: I'm sorry?

Him: What time are you going to be going back to Heaven?

Me, not realizing this is a pick-up line: Oh, um... I don't really know how to respond to that.

Him: Do you have a bandage? 

Me: What? No, why?

Him: Because when I saw you my jaw did drop and hit the ground.

Me: This is ridiculous.

Him: Did you ever wonder how come "happiness" starts with a "H" and "you and me" starts with a "you"?

Me: These are terrible. Where are you getting this from?

Him: Hahahaha. Hahaha. Ha. No, you know what, I actually did make them up in my own head.

Me: Yes, I can tell.

Him: I have one more, but I'm worried if I say it to you I might get a klap.

Me: You're probably right, but go ahead anyway.

Him: When I first saw your lips I knew that they could meet a love like mine.

I cannot make this stuff up, people. Not even a single word of it. Not even if I tried.