Conversations With My Family

While on the phone to my Dad the other day this went down...

Me: Hey Dad, what you doing?
Dad: Hello darling, just on our way home from picking Nic (my 15 year old brother) up from school, he's on half-term break. What's going on there?
Me: Nothing too exciting. Just thought I'd give you a ring and see how everyone was doing and...

at this point Dad casually interjects and turns the whole phone call around...

Dad: Guess what we've got in the car with us right now?
Me: *takes a WILD guess... Um, a python?
Dad: Yip.
Me: Excuse me?????
Dad: A python.
Me: HEY?!?!!
Dad: Yip, Nic's been asking for one for months so we got one today. But it's just home for this weekend, other than that it's staying at school with him.
Me: woeihybipvubprubv3[prub3pi!!!!!?????? *Faaaaareaking out! Dad Clauds is going to go crazy.
Dad: *sheepishly... I know.

It's worth noting that Clauds is absolutely terrified of snakes - the last time Nic brought one home (it was a smallish and apparently harmless fellow) it escaped only to be found a couple of days later in Clauds' shoe cupboard or something like that. I can't remember exactly, the whole experience was traumatizing and I blame the ordeal for my foggy memory.

Dad: Nic wants to speak to you.

Nic: Hey Shan. It's a female so you don't need to worry, also it's a ball python - when she's threatened she rolls up into a ball and you can literally roll her around apparently.

Me: Yip, because that makes it alllll better. Let me know how this all goes down with Clauds.

Did myself a little Googling to see if this whole "she's a female so you don't need to worry" thing is valid... WELL... Females apparently grow to be almost 45cm BIGGER THAN MALES!! Yip, no need to worry at all brother. Great. Juuuuust great.