My Biggest Fears

Fears... we all have them. I have many fears - big and small. 

I am afraid of frogs and confrontation. Heights make me feel slightly uneasy, although they're not a massive fear of mine. Some days I find myself being afraid of the unknown and other days I find myself welcoming it. I have a fear of being hit by a car while crossing the road. I am afraid to disappoint people and I have a fear of dancing in public. While the above mentioned fears are very real to me, some of them are silly. I do have two very big fears though...

Death.
I know that death is inevitable. Let me start off by saying that I am not afraid of dying. I am not afraid of dying because I know where I am going, I am however afraid of dying a painful death. The thing that scares me most about death is my loved ones dying. I am no stranger to death - my grandpa passed away in 2000 and in the last 6 years I have lost 2 great grandfathers as well as a step cousin, aunt and uncle. Although I have experienced loss, I have never experienced loss of an extremely close family member such as a parent or sibling or even a best friend. I worry about whether or not I will be able to cope without my dad and step-mom if they were to pass. In a couple of years I will have my degree and I will hopefully be able to support myself financially but I worry about how I will cope without them. I constantly call my dad and step-mom for advice and for their opinion on certain things. I am very close to them and I've always known that grandparents don't last forever - but what about parents? No matter how old a girl gets, she will always need her parents. I'm just grateful that both of my parents are still very much alive and I know that one day when death does come knocking, I would have had a great relationship with them and I would have cherished every moment with them.

 And some family photos just because I have the best family in the whole world! ;)

My beautiful step-mom, Clauds and my Dad.

Clauds and I

Dad and I

Clauds' side of the family - my maternal side. Grannies, Grandpas, Aunties, Uncles, Parents, Children, the whole immediate bunch. I have an incredibly big family, these are just a few members - aren't they wonderful?

My second greatest fear can be related to death; the fear of an unlived life.
I worry that one day I will wake up and realize that I have wasted my life. I worry that there will be so many things that I wanted to do and just didn't get round to doing. I worry that I'm too busy focusing on the moments to come and that I'm forgetting to enjoy the one that I'm in right now.
I remind myself everyday to live today as if it were my last and to do something that scares me everyday. Its very easy to say these things, but realistically, how practical is it? We get so stuck in our little routines, its difficult to live each day as if it were your last. I feel silly saying to myself "right Shannon, you're on your way to the grocery store and you better enjoy every minute of it because this could very well be your last trip here. Are you sure you walked down the dairy aisle with purpose and appreciation?" I mean, how ridiculous is that?
We cannot live our lives worrying about whether it might be our last day or not, therefore, I'm just trying to enjoy the little things in life. I'm making the most of the big moments and the exciting times, but I'm also reveling in the calm, quiet and sometimes boring times.

Source

What are some of the things that you're afraid of? Can you identify with my fears or am I just being completely ridiculous? Let me know - I'd love to hear from you and see what some of you have to say.